Dreaming With Tears In My Eyes

You're in my arms in bed
You turn to kiss me and say
'I Love You'
With your tongue entwined in mine
euphoria seeps in my mind
and i awake
but the pillow's damp and my cheeks wet
See i've been dreaming with tears in my eyes again.

better than me

If I must lose then let me lose to ‘the better man’
One I can properly call competition
Not some scum of the earth masquerading as such
Not some fool with a brain the size of an amoeba.
If I lose then at least give me peace of mind
Better than me or equal to, that’s all I ask
Better than me and I’ll not stand in your way
Better than me
Should temper the poisonous words that fall from your tongue

Please let it be better than me
Else those words will contaminate me.

I Love You

I love you but you'll never know
Extent i mean
I love you and i hate it that it shows.

Where you see faults, i see sheer beauty and perfection.
Against the most beautiful sunset i can call into memory- specks of brilliant orange reflect in these deep brown, enticing, inviting eyes.

A bubbly smile washes across your cherub face
and i can see my existence
it becomes so clear what i am doing and where i am going.

A sadness, intense and bitter sweet dawns on me... because i know your future lies not with me.

And with your sillouette against the sky
singing your praises on high
I can't help but feel elevated as i bask in your presence.

untitled 8/03/06

Go ahead and rest your head on my shoulder tonight.
I'm here for you as long as you need, till you're alright.
And while my heart silently cries with you, for you
It's not the cause of the dampness of my shirt.
Big tears roll down your cheeks - they seep into my shirt just like you've gotten under my skin.

Your nails dig into my thighs, even my hair has had it's salty bath -
I think one too many tonight.

So i'll hold you close - draw you near
pray to god , ask him to help allay your fears.

Hush now baby no more tears
dry your eyes and sleep tonight
in my arms you'll be alright.

I'll just remove the hair from your tear stained face
and hold you in what could only be a friendly embrace.

RAT

You with an elephant’s trunk and the smell of a rat
I didn’t want to believe family could do that

So stupidly I trusted and stupidly I played
Right into your hands
Drop one line or maybe a few
About why we two could never come through together
Expecting me to take the bait and run scared like the rat you are.

Sorry to disappoint
Bound by blood but not brains
So you fed the other and I see you infused that poison well

My lover’s eyes once sparkled like the moon over water for me
Now there burns a fire of hatred
Lips that spewed kissed
Now curse my name
Whilst I tried in vain to find out what went wrong

I should have smelled the rat
But stupidly I refused to believe family could do that

So I trusted you
And you dug my grave
You laughed and I cried while you conveyed to me the goodbye.

Fire and Rain

The stares I get will never be the same
That night my tears fell like rain
You threw me into the fire to burn
The water that fell cooled my burning soul
And the taste of rum cooled my tongue

Burned like fire
You took me higher
And then without warning let go.

Smouldering skin and ashy breath
That’s what was left in your aftermath.

That night my tears fell like rain
And you like a stain refused to go…even now
Ingrained in my mind images of you and I churn

On my knees I beg please for mercy from above.

Blinded

Much like a knife ingrained in flesh then twisted so that the wound remains raw and open.
Your presence twisted through me coursing through my veins.
I fought with all the strength I had to offer at that moment but it was in vain.

Blinded by physique
I wanted to touch and I wanted to feel
So I disregarded everything else that I should have seen.

What a bittersweet thing it was when the scales fell from my eyes.
See I had deluded myself into thinking you were the prize.

Glory to God! As pained as that shout might be
I have hopefully learnt the lesson
And I’ll take the experience with me.

It’s clotting now, clotting fast
Soon there’ll be a scab-
That ugly thing that will fall away in time.
But always a scar
To remind me.
I’m glad of it because when the real prize rears it’s head
I will be able to fully appreciate it.

Find Your Way

It was symbolic for me the washing away of that energy
It burned in my veins, burned in my brain
Hurt so bad made me want to cry… just wanted to shrivel up and die.
So I drank the tears away… drank so hard it might have diluted the blood in my veins.
What I really wanted to dilute though, was your presence.

I swear I was going insane
Flipped a switch and decided
Because I didn’t want to feel any pain
I’d cover it over with some alcohol-induced rage
And in the midst of insanity… somehow bursts of clarity shone like a beacon of light on the darkest night.

I saw the situation for what it was
A bad choice that I had to put away
No sense hanging on to somebody whose agenda was to play games
So I got up broken and bruised (more heart and ego than anything else)
And scrubbed that away..washing those feelings down the drain

Broken heart and damaged pride, depression and salt in my eye
But I’m still in one piece
I guess I’ll live to fight another day
And hope and pray that you can find your way.